Human nature cannot be predicted. We all think that we know somebody. That means that we believe that we know how a friend or family member would react to a situation. We think that we know this at least about people we are very close to. Do we really? If that were true, relationship would not sour. Because our partner is surely a person we know a lot about. But suddenly we are confronted with a partner about whom our feelings change or vice versa. Why does this happen?

I am not sure whether people change at all. But surely the way they behave or act is so unexpected that we feel they have changed. In a relationship a couple may have been having the best time together. Both partners think that they are made for each other. There is a belief that their goals are same and that their thoughts are same. They are a perfect couple who are in deep romantic love and who seem to be unable to live without each other.

Can such a couple change? Yes, even a couple which shares everything perfectly changes in relationship when decisions about values have to be taken. If one of the partners has very strong values about something they will not surrender that under any circumstances. For example, you have a sense of what is right and what is wrong. I also have my sense of right and wrong. If I believe very strongly in my sense, I will never accept what you want me to do. If you think that lie is Ok if life can be carried on and if I believe that lie is unacceptable, can we ever share the same relationship? This test does not come immediately after the relationship, but after some months or years. We suddenly find that our values are in strong conflict with our partner and whatever effort we make is useless to change their point of view. At that point love turns bitter. As if suddenly some sour thing was added to a sweet.