4 Steps For a Good Relationship

Relationships can be the most painful or the most wonderful part of our life experience. For most of us, our history is comprised of both. And yet, we never stop longing for that one relationship - you know the one. THE relationship of our lives: the person who helps us become the best version of ourselves; the person who defines our sense of the word "home;" and the person who helps us enjoy and endure all stages of life. This is possible for each and every one of us. The following four steps will help you not only explore the relationship you currently have (or wish to have), but they will also help sustain that relationship for years to come. STEP 1: Enjoy What You Love

Easy enough, right? Wrong! Most people looking for relationships find it difficult to even find a meaningful partnership, because they spend their time LOOKING. It is not that all relationship seekers are desperate, but rather the problem lies in the fact that looking is their focus. Many times seekers forget to concentrate on enjoying the very things they love, which compromises the possibility that a potential mate will be attracted to your dedication to the very things that fulfill you! We are all drawn to confidence and passion in others. Therefore, do not compromise your relationship potential by forgetting to enjoy what you love.

STEP 2: Know Who You Are

A relationship is a "state of connectedness between two people." You, of course, are one of those people. But who are you? What defines you? What do you want to be? What are your weaknesses and your strengths? What do you bring to the table in a relationship? Be stronger and more confident about yourself and your values. Your partner needs to be attracted to the REAL YOU. There is no other option for a lasting relationship.

STEP 3: Know Your Priorities

Throughout our lives, we have been taught that selfishness is a bad thing. It is better to care for the feelings and needs of others than to only serve our own needs. I agree with this statement, except for one case: entering into a relationship. Notice that I did not say maintaining a serious relationship. I believe that so many people are hurt by "selflessly" continuing in an unfulfilling relationship. These are the people who "pity-date," or enter into a relationship not because they have true feelings for their partner, but because they feel bad for them, because they don't want to "hurt them," or because they feel that they have no other options. This is DEATH to a relationship! You must know who you want in your life and why. If you are looking for a long-term relationship, or wish to maintain one, you had better be willing to wait for a good fish - one who meets those expectations that you have. If not, throw them back! This is YOUR life. You only get one chance. It is a waste of YOUR time to maintain an unfulfilling relationship.

STEP 4: HONESTY AND OPENNESS

Once you have achieved steps one through three, it is time make sure you sustain the relationship you want or have. The word "honesty" is tossed into so many relationship-help books. Is it a cliché? Yes, if it's not followed with actual ways to be honest. Most people think that they are open and honest with their partners. The problem is, we often think many important, deep thoughts that are never shared with our partner. Believe it or not, we actually believe that our partner is already aware of these thoughts without even speaking them! I'm pretty sure most of us were not blessed with telekinetic abilities. Therefore, honesty and openness must come from asking questions that really allow us to know our partner. Most of us do not have the courage or the ability to come up with the right questions on our own. If you are having trouble, you might want to check out this excellent resource, which will provide a huge list of questions to get you started.

I hope this information has been as helpful to you as it has for me - I assure you that after several sad, un-fulfilling, and even a few pity-relationships, I have found the love of my life through much self-examination and through an honesty policy that can only result from conversation and relationship-sustaining questions. Please believe that YOU CAN have the relationship you desire if you follow these important guidelines. Good luck!